Movie Reviews

“Vampires Suck” (2010)


For the record, I think most of the movies made by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are a disgrace to the movie industry. Meet the Spartans, Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Disaster Movie were horrendous and should not have been made. However, with no expectations going into the film, Vampires Suck actually turned out to be highly entertaining.

Jenn Proske stars in her film debut as Becca Crane, who is torn between Edward (Matt Lanter) and Jacob (Christopher N. Riggi) after she moves to the small town of Sporks, Washington. The film takes the basic plots of Twilight and New Moon and starts to add some other hilarious parodies like small bits of Dear John and celebrity mocks of the Kardashians and Lady Gaga.

The main thing that differs this film from many of the other Friedberg and Seltzer films is the fact that there aren’t really many other movies parodied in this movie. Where Date Movie, Epic Movie, and the rest of those films go way over the top, this film stays true to the Twilight saga, while throwing in a few nods to The Vampire Diaries and other vampire things.

The true breakthroughs in this film are Proske, who has Kristen Stewart down to a T. Every little mannerism is present in her character, and truly mocks Stewart’s role without making it go too far. Also, Diedrich Bader plays Becca’s father Frank, who has some hilarious scenes as well.

Sure, this film has flaws. Some gags don’t go over too well or are drawn out way too long. The whole ‘teen angst’ references are funny, but get played over and over again. Also, the sex scene between Becca and Edward had some moments where it ‘got rough’ that seemed too much like the bad parody movies and felt way out of place here. But other than those few horrible moments, the true gems of the film easily outweigh the bad.

One thing that is different in this film than most parody films is that it is more of a drama. They took the real awkward quietness of the Twilight films and the small nuances that made those films successful and really capitalize on that. No, this film won’t make $100 million in the box office, heck, it probably will be lucky to hit $50 million, but this film truly doesn’t disappoint.

Final Grade: 7.5/10

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